Whoopsie.

Sorry I missed WTF Friday. My whole life is sort of in WTF at the moment. In all honestly I kind of forgot it was friday yesterday. In theory I have tomorrow off, but we are still waiting on the official answer on that (which means I am at work).

I had a moment of intense rage yesterday at my landlord; admittedly the rage may have been disproportionate to the actual transgression, but still.
Yesterday morning I get a fwd'd email from him regarding his attempt to take over my internet account. The good folks at broadband vi said, uh. we need to hear from her, jackass. Now I remember in pre-turnaround when he asked me if I would be willing to do something similar with the internet as he did for cable. I distinctly recall rolling my eyes and saying sure. But right now, well, I ain't making any changes until this T/A is over (today is day 11 of 38). So about 2 minutes after the fwd'd email I get a phone call, now my location during this phone call is AN EXPLOSION PROOF (its explosion proof, my ass!) trailer in the middle of the busiest I have ever been. I ignore the call. Thanks to the wonderful people at youmail.com all my voicemails are transcribed and sent to me as text messages. His message stated: call me as soon as you can. I sent him an email saying I wouldn't be available until Sunday, maybe. He replied: to call me back or to take care of the broadband. I ignored this message. An hour later another call. This time the voicemail was unclear and couldn't be transcribed. I replied to him again and brought out the bitch tone--I am AT work. Cannot talk. Either leave a clear message or send me an email because your urgent and my urgent are very different.
Seriously, my inner concise bitch has been brought to the forefront these days. My hesitation to be loud at meetings has ended completely and now I'm a table pounding fool like the rest. It has been Totally awesome. :)
So obviously as soon as I got home and let the beasts out the landlord comes lumbering over. I enjoyed my 5 minutes of pretending to stop the dogs from barking at him (they know when I'm serious). Then he told me he had new tenants moving into the main house. Mmmkay. Whatever.
Then he told me the clincher. They have a kid.
Well. Hell. One of the reasons I stayed at this apartment was that I didn't want to live near kids. Some kids I adore. Some I really don't. Its on a kid by kid basis. So, we shall see.
So, onto work drama. The Lady (of the lady and the dude aka interlopers) did not get sent home. *shrugs* she did get the talking to and has apparently stepped up her game. So that's good.
The dude is working out good in the field. So that's cool.
But he said something to me that I didn't know how to take. Ready? Okay. He said...."Heather, you are a rough girl." To which I said, "uh, thanks?"
"No, I mean, you are more like a guy. Its weird. You speak your mind and don't take shit. You're just, well, different."
I thought, yup, I've been told I'm different before. But to the dude I said,
"Ronnie, I'm just mean. Now get back to work and if you tell me to calm down again I'm going to punch you in the throat!" ;)

Oh, and I had my most recent performance review. It took place in the corridor in front of my lab from 16:30 to 16:36. It consisted of me asking my boss, "hey boss, do I suck?"
He said, "No! You are great. I really like how you work and you are doing a great job. And I'm not just saying that cause you asked."
I said, "cool, you're a good boss too."
He said, "I'm surprised you say that since I just told you that you're working all weekend"
I shrugged and replied, " I knew what I was signing on to."
So. Have a great weekend folks!
*hugs*

Wednesday.

In my continued theme of "I'm so tired I aint gonna make it" blogging here are today's 3 items of note:
1. I'm sunburnt in a very attractive 'coverall' way. You know, face and neck are red. It's sexy. :/
2. If someone tells me to 'calm down' I am 85% more likely to punch them in the throat.
3. I'm pretty sure Tweedle-dum (aka the Lady) is getting the ole' heeve ho out the refinery.
4. I find if you tell someone, "sir, I find you racist and unpleasant. Please don't talk like that around me" they tend to fear and loathe you a LOT more.
5. When my boss has an extremely nice and sweet toned voice during a conversation with someone else I fear for that person's life. It means he's trying Extra hard to not explode. Not that I've ever Seen him explode, it's just that I'm working directly with him a Lot more cause I'm working days and I'm learning him.
My Favorite thing is when my boss gets all spun up and angry. My least favorite thing is when he looks at me when I'm all spun up and angry with a look that says I'm too spun up. Although to give him credit he has NEVER told me to calm down.

Okay. That's it.

Now sleep then tomorrow more exciting adventures of "pray we don't blow up; wtf is wrong now; wtf is wrong with these people; where the hell did night shift move my equipment".
Gnite folks!

Wowsa

Its just after 6pm and I'm home. I left here about 12 hours ago. After letting out the raging beasts and letting in the yowling feline I'm sitting. And sitting is good.
Here are the items I've taken out of my pockets:
-5 empty earplug wrappers
-my wallet
-assorted pens, sharpies, and screwdrivers.
-notebook
-leather gloves
-an empty chemical resistant glove wrapper with some used pH paper in it (pH of 3 if your the curious type)
-a paper cone cup; squished.
-a smoke alarm cover which was red and said *Remove from Alarm After Trailer is Occupied* I sat in a meeting with 20+ safety professionals in said trailer, none of them saw that. (This fills me with horror btw; but then again sometimes I'm also that stupid *shrugs*)

After I took off my coveralls I found I was wearing 3 sets of earplugs around my neck. The random thought was where did the other 2 pairs go?

My life has become about the Turnaround. It is both boring and exciting. Thrilling and horrifying and exhausting and angering and I still love it.
I'm tired.
*hugs*
-H.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

I will try to write tomorrow. I have stories...oh so many stories...

Well. It's Friday.

My WTF Friday posting has been redacted as my boss called me in and said I didn't have to work tomorrow.
That's right.
I get a weekend off.
Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm free. free i say! freeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Wednesday

Good Morning it's Whatever I Want Wednesday!
I am Oh So Sleepy. I did that thing all night where I would wake up and look at my watch. Why you ask?, well. Because I needed to be in the plant around 5 to make some equipment go. And now its going and all I want to do is curl up and go sleepy-bye. :) Methinks today may be an early day for Heather.
And I gotta tell ya. Watching little lights turn from green to yellow over and over again does not make for perkiness.
So. I have some news on the Heather's Ever Expanding Butt - front. (Okay, sidenote: that was pretty funny--butt-front. *snicker* I need more sleep)
Alright. Back to the ass-expansion. So, I was out for a friend's birthday Sunday. Was having a good time and chatting to yet another friend. Turns out his dream in life is to be a personal trainer. I raised an eyebrow and asked, wanna practice on me? Apparently Yes. Yes he does. <Insert happy Snoopy Dance here>
Personally, I have no motivation to actually work out. None at all. I don't understand walking if I'm not going somewhere, I've always found running painful (Ack! Flashback: trying out for wrestling team in HS and bra came unhooked as I ran the mile *shudder*) and in all honestly should there ever be someone or something chasing me I'm much better off fighting than running. I love Yoga, but again, it's that whole getting off my butt and actually going thing. I feel great when I actually do it. *shrugs* the couch is a mighty vortex.
So. Anywhoodle, I now have a personal trainer who see's me daily at work. And Holy Hell did I get the hairy eyeball as I ordered a chicken sandwich and fries for lunch yesterday. He told me to enjoy it, cause it was my last one. Then he hollered...and get some fruit!
*big cheezy grin* Love It!
Guess my days of slack-assery are at an end.
YAY! Sometimes I miss rough and tough me so it will be good to see her again. :)
Anywhoodle, have a great Wednesday. I'm still caffeinating; but soon that should kick in.
*hugs*
-H.

OMG

O. M. G.
Oh. My. Flippin' Gawd.
I come out to the trailer to deploy some equipment. The 'interlopers' aka the lady and the dude aka tweedle-dum and tweedle-dee were not there. Nope. Not there.
Well. SURELY they will be back soon. SURELY. So. I wait 15 minutes. Then I call over the radio....tweedles? Hello, tweedles?
'Go for Tweedles'
Hey. This is Heather. I'm at the trailer. 'Oh. Uh. Oh. Okay. Um. Be there in, um, a minute'
Mmmmmkay. I think.
They finally arrived and informed me that they had had to tinkle. Yes. They use the term TINKLE.
Oh Goodie -- Euphemisms.
This day ain't gonna end. Seriously.

Whoops!

Happy Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. Its a Monday but I had the day off so it felt like a Sunday. Anyway, I say Whoops! Sorry.
Here is my 'medical monday' update-- if you have an ankle that gets repeatedly injured AND you have a cat do NOT try to go down stairs all bleary-eyed at 5AM because said cat will trip you and leave said ankle fully sprained as you tumble down the stairs.
So, I instead of cleaning and organizing closets I practiced the RICE method of healing. Yes, that's the good stuff--rest, ice, compression, and elevation.
Anywhoodle. Happy Monday. Hope anyone who had to work today had a decent day.
Official turnaround start day is Wednesday. I am waving goodbye to my life and hello to insanity.
Goodnight all!
-H.

Oh. My. GAWD.

So. Seriously. Its friday which means it's What the F friday. And oh Lawdy...

....The above grammatically challenged "sentence" was written at 8:17 in the morning on Friday while waiting for The Interlopers (aka the lady and the dude). They were late. I asked them to meet me on site at 8am and for the second day in a row they wandered on in just late enough to mess with my schedule. All I could say is that it bothers me on a professional level for people to be late. It just does. Don't get me wrong, it happens to the best of us. But when 'consulting' I would have rather spent 30 minutes waiting in my car because I got there early than dare be late. And it sure as heck wouldn't have happened 2 days in a row.
This TA coulda been fun. Well. As fun as such things could be. In a perfect world my old co-workers would have been down. I coulda been working nights. It woulda been AWESOME.
Instead. Well. It looks like its time for Heather to grow up, work, and work some more (my "inner" child says FUSS!). I will be scheduled with the Dude. So far he has made about 4 derogatory statements about women as well as confirming my suspicions regarding his inherent racism. So far the only thing that has gotten me through this is my co-worker. I talked about him a long time ago. We 'sarcasm' at each other. He heard me snap at these people in the lab on Friday morning and took them away on a walk thru of the FCC. Those couple hours of peace...well, they got me through.
Here's what I already knew. I am not meant to be a teacher. Nope.
It also helps when I was telling the sarcastic co-worker about the random anti-women commentary from the dude. Sarcastic co-worker looked at me and said something along the lines of "yeah, freakin' vaginas!". This led to much hoolarity on our parts.
Sometimes it take working with people who don't automatically click with you to make you thankful for the people you normally work with. I am very blessed to be working with a great team of people.
Goodnight all!

Turnaround

Welp. It's here. okay, it's not actually here yet but it is pre-turnaround.
The acid plant is down and today, well today I began the insane task of trying to organize the Industrial Hygiene Laboratory. I don't even know how to explain this lab to ya'll, but I will try. Picture a room...fill it with a lab bench with many drawers, a sink, a double lab desk, two of the worst chairs you have ever sat in, one (totally yoinked from another office) decent chair, and a bunch of mismatched shelving units and file cabinets. Now fill everything with crap. Okay, not crap...just the accumulated equipment of a half a dozen employees throughout the ages. Nothing was thrown away. nada. About 3 weeks ago my boss came in just to mournfully look around and tell me about pictures of another "nice" IH lab he had seen. Unable to stand the Huckleberry Hound look on his face I said words that have since haunted my existence...."I'll take care of it."
What. The. Cockedy. Cock. Was. I. Thinking?

So today I was boxing, cleaning, packing, moving, and throwing away...oh so much throwing away.

And then my day STOPPED.

Why? you ask...well, they are here...

Who? you ask....THEM.

The support industrial hygienists. They are not from the company I used to work for...they are the INTERLOPERS. And let me tell ya, I am underwhelmed. Although, on the bright side (evil giggle) I am SO excited to be snarky about people again.

Okay, here is my token good person moment: some people don't make good first impressions, they just arrived yesterday and could be jetlagged, they may be many reasons they seemed, well, meh.

There is a lady and a dude. I shall from this point forward call them Lady and Dude. Don't get me wrong they were nice enough, just seemed underwhelmed with everything and kind of snotty about the island which I found rather offensive. *shrugs* I tend to violently defend things (and people) I love.

So, anywhoodle, my boss asked me when we were alone at the "end" (ended up doing 2 more hours of work at the Acid Plant) of the day, "so, did we need them? or could we have done without?"

My reply, "to be determined boss, to be determined..."

Goodnight ya'll. It is SO bed-thirty.

-H.

Ack! I know.

Morning! I know, it's late. Well. It's early but this post is late.
Here is a quick "medical monday" tip do you have any meds that have an unpleasant smell or taste? Buy a small tin of Altoid Smalls and add a few of the mints to your meds. Soon, your meds will have a minty smell and taste. Don't do this if you have young children. And if you have older children lock up any meds you have--those "pharm" parties freak me the Hell out. Have you heard of this crap? Seriously, they take any meds they can and dump them in a big bowl, then everyone gets a handful. I mean come ON, seriously? These kids are just lazy. You know most of the crap in there is prolly diabetic and cholesterol lowering meds.....mmmm, liver damage. Tasty.
Okay, sorry for the lecture; I just woke up and don't wanna get up and go to work. *fuss*
turnaround isn't even Here yet and already I'm Busy as hell. Funny moment of Monday--I was on the phone at 4:15PM to another person in the Safety department...all of a sudden the fire alarm goes off and at the exact same moment we both said, "*Expletive* Is that Real?". Now, we did use different expletives, but the sentiment was the same. :). It was real, but it was false as well--stupid electrical short.
Much Love folks.
-H.

Happy WTF Friday!

Normally I would try to find some darn crazy thing that happened and chat aimlessly about it for a while. Well, I don't have to do that today--I have had enought WTF in the past 2 days to write a book. Hey, speaking of books, I got my Yule present from my co-worker. I am oddly excited to read this book written in the 20s by a dude wandering through the west indies. In case you are wondering, I got him an erlenmeyer flask. These presents *sound* weird--but really, they have a point. :)

Anyway, onto Heather's WTF. So, remember about 6 months and 3 months ago when I didn't know if I got to stay...blah blah blah? Yeah, that just happened AGAIN. Totally got locked out of the refinery for a day. "What!?!" I hear you say, aghast, "but...". yup. But indeed. There are paperwork things...they all have acronyms of which I have no clue as to what they stand for, but holy heck are they important. The crux of the matter is the people who pay me weren't getting paid. So they weren't gonna pay me AND were going to take away my car.

All I can say as I look around shell shocked is what the cockedy cock? And then spend a lot of time wondering how I would get home...

Because I cannot control ANY of these things. I am going to drink tea. I am going to drink so much tea that my teeth float. Because people, what I can control, is how much tea I drink. *sip* ahhhh, refreshing.

Anywhoodle, I think the drama of the whole thing is over...they moved money from one acronym to another acronym because the budget of yet another acronym accounted for my existence. *shrugs*
Whatcha gonna do? Drink tea people, drink tea.

Whatever Wednesday-New Years Resolutions

So today I am going to talk about New Years resolutions, etc. I have never believed in them much, so per as usual I made about 20. My husband made one...and he finished it on New Years day at around 4PM. His resolution was to cut off all his hair. So now he's all good for the year and I am still wading through mine thinking--holy hell, I am screwed. But the one resolution to write here at least three times per week seems to be a good one--so here's hoping. ;)

Speaking of the husband, he is flying over the ocean winging his way towards Chicago today. Which, I'm not going to lie to you, blows. We spent the first week bickering and fighting as we (again) had to learn to live around each other and then by the time we settled down he had to leave again. So, anywhoodle, I'm a touch sad and lonely but I'm sure I will get sucked into work drama stress activities and have no more time for feelings. :)

Speaking of work; had a fun little mishap where my contract kind of expired at the end of the year and hadn't been renewed, and in theory I shouldn't have been able to come to work (this sounds familiar...) but I didn't find out until I was at work. *big sigh* Everything is all working out fine...just been a wee bit tense these days.

Folks, the turnaround, she be a comin'. And pretty much expect me to be writing bat crap crazy postings radomly because as you may or may not know working 7 days a week for super long shifts tends to make people a smidge wackadoo.

Anywhoodle,
that's about all for this wednesday.
hugs, love, and all that other crap.
-H.

Medical Monday...

So per my New Years Resolution to write more crap here ya go.
Happy Medical Monday--in theory this is where I comment upon some medical related news story.
I considered doing the Miracle Mom story and the sleep story: here is miracle mom:
Poor lady came in very pregnant. Had a heart attack and was technically dead...did an emergency c-section, the baby came out with difficulties. Mom's heartbeat came back. They got baby going and they are both doing very well. This is a freaking awesome story. (If I were a good blogger I would put a link in here or some damn thing but just google it if you want details) I love this story. Happily ever after at Yule-time...its fuzzy happy awesome. The part that made me apply my forehead to my desk in a repeated thumping manner is this: the doctors say they don't know how it happened.
Rokily Dokily. I call Shennigans!!! (Aka Bullshit)
I know how it happened. If you all take a second and think about it you will know how it happened. These doctors know how it happened too; they are just caught up in miracle madness.
I know what you're thinking: Miracles are cool. I am pro-miracle. What the heck is wrong with miracles you pinko commie pain in the ass?
However before any panties continue in a bunching manner here are some examples of the line I'm trying to draw:
Miracle: *you* see the face of *your* God on a potato chip. Mmmkay, cool. Enjoy. Think about it, meditate on it, show your friends and family if you must. In other words, rock on with your bad self.
Miracle Madness: people coming to worship your potato chip.
Miracle: *you* see the face of the Virgin Mary on an underpass in Chicago. You know, where the homeless pee? Great. Enjoy that moisture crack salt seepage--but do so privately.
Miracle Madness: encouraging your small child to kiss the place on the underpass (you know, where the homeless PEE?!?!) where according to the news report, some dude saw the Virgin Mary.
Anyway, I guess I want my miracles private and my doctors a little more stoic. Cripes, there was a whole other human inside this woman, maybe, just maybe, when they pulled that baby out it took some of the pressure off her system and allowed blood to flow, restarting the heart? Just a theory. Cripes, it *is* miraculous--and Gods bless them, I hope their family remains happy and healthy. I just don't want my doctors standing around, chewing on a thumb saying, "duh, yup. Thas'a miracle. Don't know how that there happened." And then shrug.
Nuh-uh. Not okay. ;)

So that's all for medical monday. Hope you enjoyed.
I am going to bed because a. I'm tired, b. there was a study done that said less sleep = depression, and c. well, hell, still tired.

Nighty Night!
-H.

2010!!!! Here's the new schedule. (wtf friday)

Sheesh, when you actually type the year 2010...wow,it feels *very* futuristic.

Anyway, I have figured out my new schedule for this blog. Obviously there are going to be exceptions to every rule but here is the plan:
Three entries per week; the current plans are obviously subject to change based upon my whims.
Monday will be Medical Monday--I have no set reason for making Mondays medical-y themed...but heck, why not?!
Wednesday will be Whatever I Want Wednesday.
Friday will be WTF Friday.

So, it's Friday; here is your WTF Friday entry.
I got nothing. Seriously, just scoured some news reports, stopping at my favorite news site (fark.com)and while I found many things what made me have a giggle there was no real moment of what. the. f***. *shrugs*
It's New Years Day and I have been in my pajamas all day. At one point I changed into new pajamas. Not exciting stuff, but honestly...not to bad either. My mother would be *horrified* at my lack of exciting-ness. She called me at about 1:30 AM this morning. I was, of course, in bed. So for any of you under the misconception that I am a "party animal" you should realize that this New Years Eve I partied more along the lines of an 85 year old. I blame it all on the fact I have a cold. *pout*.

Have a great weekend and a great start to the new year!
More interesting entry on Monday!
*hugs*
-H.