pants pants purse

I am not a fashionista. I could honestly not care one way or another what people wear. If they are happy and comfy more power to them. Every once in a while I see something that strikes me as “HOLY CRAP! What were they thinking!?!” We are going to take a moment and discuss three of these things. Pants, Pants, and purses. If you are an avid reader of mass of random you know I wear coveralls to work. Nothing too exciting just your standard fire retardant coveralls.

Sometimes people who work in the administration part of the refinery wear business attire. Sure, okay…no worries. The other week I saw patterned pants. These pants caused a physical reaction in my body. The pattern, the mass of polyester, for God’s sake THE PATTERN!!! Okay, we have Heather’s fashion rule #1—no patterned pants. A light pin striping is fine…just not, well, cripes—psychedelic patterned polyester business pants. I think I would have had a seizure if they had a matching jacket. ~shudder~

Now we move on to the “other” pants problem. If you wear coveralls, wear the freaking coveralls. Sure, don’t get me wrong—if you have been working in the field all day and you are hot and sweaty it makes perfect sense to take off the top half of your coveralls and tie them around your waist on your way out. Please don’t wear a dressy button down top and then tie your coveralls around your waist. Just say no. It’s not okay. They make fire retardant pants. If you want pants, get pants. If I saw this happening once in a while—so be it. But there is one very nice lady who does it every day and it drives me insane for no good reason. My fashion-short-bus’d self has no room to make commentary but there ya have it—Heather’s fashion rule #2—wear your clothes.

Lastly, and this is probably just a personal preference. But HOLY CRAP does seeing a woman carrying a purse—a delicate girly purse, while wearing coveralls just looks wrong. Not a little wrong—a LOT wrong.
So, Heather’s stupid pointless fashion rule #3—don’t carry an annoyingly fussy purse when wearing coveralls. It looks stupid.

Okay, that’s all I have for today. Tune in later this week for more pointless observations. ~smile~

Monday

Hello everyone. Last week was intensely long…still only 7 days but my perception was that it lasted approximately three times that. All my work tasks were focused on community outreach stuff. It was exciting, busy, and above all—wearying.
Today (Monday) I am back at my regular activities and I found it very hard to focus. It was a nice mental break to have to focus completely on different stuff. However, now that I am back to my desk looking at my “to do” pile I want to run away again. Here are a few updates from my world:

s I’m moving. Weeeeee! I am getting away from the insanity of my neighbors. Bless their alcoholic rage-filled little hearts. More power to them, they can have that place. I am very excited about my new house with its big fenced in yard walking distance from one of my favorite beaches.
s Dogs are good but WOW did they lay a guilt trip on me this morning as I left for work. They looked at me with “again?” written all over their pathetic little faces. Last week was hard on them—12 hours+ alone every day. Not a single accident those poor babies. I didn’t leave them alone over the weekend, tried to take them with me everywhere. Poor little punkins.
s Cat is still insane. I really like him. The random attacks on my feet are a little intense; but totally worth it.

That's about all. love ya'll!

I ain't dead!

Just insanely busy.
Be back soon!
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Eeeeenteresting.

So, please understand I am very well aware that without administrative support the world would suck. I MISS the administrators we had back in Chicago. I could go on and on about how wonderful they were (are still) to me. Also, there are times when I administrate for industrial hygiene, organize, fix, review, write...whatever. In fact my current boss apologized once that many of the administration tasks for our group (of 3) fell to me. I told him I was the most recent hire and that I am damn good and damn proud of my organizational skills. So no problems there.
But why, oh why, when the safety admin is away from her desk, does every jackass wander into my office looking for help passing multiple men along the way? That my friends, that right there is sexism and it is starting to piss me off.

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Industrial Hygiene Mascot

Okay, in all seriousness I am guessing at the species of gecko as the star of this little story with this "borrowed" image from the internet. But it was an odd moment in my career and felt the need to share--visual aids always help. My sarcastic co-worker has been on vacation and this has led to much more interaction with my boss. During one of our famously awkward conversations I needed to get the keys to the IH-mobile (like the bat-mobile but with way cooler toys). He reached into his pocket to pull them out and I stepped forward. A weird series of occurrences happened almost in slow motion. His hand grabbed keys, he reached keys to me, a gecko jumped off the keys onto the floor, and to my horror my shoe came damn close to squashing the little gecko. I threw myself backward and the gecko ran for cover. Boss looked at me; I looked at Boss. Boss asked, "did that just come out of my pocket?" I replied, "i think so". It. was. weird. So about a week goes by and who do I see today? Gecko--alive and well and chillin' in the corner of my office. Although we were insanely busy I still went and showed the boss who declared we have a mascot. So, I am aware this is an inane story--but I have a boss who has lizards in his pocket. How many people can say that? exactly.

A tearful goodbye...

Well, it has happened. I wasn’t sure it would but darn it—it has. I mean nothing lasts forever and we had a good run…

I met my favorite brand of bike shorts back in 2007 from an online company that had them on clearance. I bought six pairs. Well, here we are three years later and they are all starting to die. I can’t complain, they have put in a few good years but they don’t make this kind anymore (of course).

The only story I can liken to what I am experiencing today is a horror my husband and I experienced while camping. We all sat around chatting and laughing and enjoying the company of those around us. One lovely large gentleman was wearing leggings and not much else. At one point the seam of said legging started giving way in the “crotchular” region. It wasn’t as if they just gave way altogether, it was more of a Playdo Fun Factory pressing effect as more and more of his “crotchular” area fun factory’d its way out. My husband gurglecoughsnorted and said in an incredulous and horrified manner, “the structural integrity of your pants has been compromised!!!!” before closing his eyes and trying to forget the image…the horrible horrible image.

Needless to say for a few years all of our friends used my husband’s overly complicated version of “dude, your junk is squeezing out your pants” for anything we could. Often heard around our home was, “the structural integrity of has been compromised!!” ahhh…good times.

So, thankfully my bike shorts are safely covered by coveralls and there is minimal danger of any visually horrifying playdo fun factory events—needless to say it may be time to buy some new “under coverall” shorts.

Hurricane Survival Kit

Hello. Please note—I am not in any way experienced with hurricanes. Almost every single person who lives on the island has more experience than me and I am certain that they all have hints and tricks better and perhaps more applicable than mine. That said I am going to keep ya’ll updated on what I have been doing to make my world a little more pleasant during inclement weather.

Flush Water
There is nothing as decadent as indoor plumbing. During hurricane season I keep an old cat litter bucket (cleaned and approx. 5 gallons) filled with water (and a little bleach). The cat litter bucket has a lid which I keep closed to prevent mosquitoes from enjoying a breeding ground. Then, when a flush is needed, I have that ability. It’s awesome.

Face Wipes
Okay, I know most of you have heard of the whole baby wipe thing. Those are fine but if you really want to “treat” yourself buy some fancy no water needed face washing towelettes. I have some Olay ones and I love them. They actually made me feel clean before bed. I can’t recommend anything more.

Wash Yer Dang Dishes
Very little is as gross as icky dishwater. Now, if you have it and don’t have electricity or water for a few days it gets really manky. So, when you know a storm is coming make sure to wash all your dishes and put them away before the storm. Then use environmentally unfriendly disposable products during the storm. Water is way too precious to do anything else.

Soapy Water & Rinse Bucket
I use my empty dish washing sink bucket thing and half fill it with sudsy water. This allows me to wash my hands during the storm and after by dunking and swishing. I rinse my hands in a bucket with clean water before drying. This may sound stupid, but it is amazing how often I needed this.

Oil Candles & Lantern
Light is amazing. Sure, I need a headlamp to read and all that but just by illuminating an area it can make you feel less alone. There is a reason everyone gathers at campfires…it feels homey. Just remember all your basic fire safety skills.

Buckets, Buckets, and more Buckets
You may have noticed that I use a lot of buckets—get more of them. Somewhere in your house is going to leak. You may need to soak something in bleach, you may need to dip water out of your cistern, just get lots of buckets. Trust me. I think I have 8 bucket-type objects, and yes, I have used them all.

Drinking Water
A lot of potable water is essential. Seriously. The estimate is 1 gallon per person per day. Pets are a minimum of ½ gallon per pet a day. Those estimates are NOT for people like me and my pets. My big dogs need a gallon per day as well. So, I have about 30 gallons before any hurricane. So far so good.


Insect Repellant/Raid/Boric Acid
The little buggers EXPLODE after a storm. I had an ant infestation on my stove within 1 day following inclement weather. A sprinkling of Borax and they were gone. J Also, mosquitoes are just evil—they will eat you alive after a storm. I keep a can of Off by the bed and in the kitchen. I rarely use Raid—but it isn’t bad to keep on hand.


Cash
If there is no power or phone service after a hurricane, there is no way to get money and you can’t pay with a credit card/debit card. So, yeah, take out as much cash as you can prior to a storm. One person I know puts all ones and fives he gets in change in a jar starting June 1st and uses that as his Hurricane Fund. It’s a pretty good idea.

Battery Operated Fan
I don’t have one; but I sure have wished for one for the last few days with no power! I have great hopes of getting one someday. :)

Rubbermaid Roughneck Containers
These things are great. Keep a few changes of clothes in one of them so that you have some dry clean clothes to wear. Sometimes everything gets wet.

Gaston

Motivation

Is there anything in this world less motivating than motivational posters? I didn’t think so either. I’ve never been a fan of such dripping obvious schlock. However, I’d never really been subjected to them either. The other day something horrible happened. The local admin brought in a framed copy of some motivational poster for us to put in our office. *blink* really? Us? Me and the officemate (aka Sarcasmo) who go out of our way to write buzzwords in a mocking manner on the whiteboard in our office (synergy, cooperation, paradigm shift, strategery…wait, that ain’t one—you get the idea)?
The dark horror was prevalent in our office. We didn’t want it.
It sat on a chair…looking at us.
Okay, I’m being a wee bit melodramatic; but it was annoying. So we zipped down the hallway and crowded into our boss’ office doorway and said “do we have to?” to which he said, “Nope”. The offending poster was taken away…they still haunt the hallways though. If a poster was wall I needed to become motivated…

Should anyone wish to giggle you can Google “demotivators” and see what I wish was all over my walls.


Muah!-H.

...a minor rant (email)

A minor rant…

So, if any of you out there have email; and I know most of you do; please remember to PUT YOUR FLIPPIN’ PHONE NUMBER IN THE SIGNATURE! Yes, I am well aware that people are getting outlandish with the signature lines, for example:

Heather Blah Blah Blah, Whooopie dooooo title.
Company address
Company address
Company website
Phone number
Cell number
Email
Website
Personal website
Annoying biblical sentence or save the earth message all about your journey and your commitment to blah blah blah blah.

Don’t. Be. That. Person!!!
However, if you send me a flippin’ email asking me to call you and you don’t at least have a stupid phone number at the bottom of the email it makes me insane. Then there is the searching for the number…~sigh~

So, my advice to anyone who cares enough to read this stupid posting. On outgoing messages have your name, phone number(s) and maybe your email (although if you are sending an email don’t we already have that?). On reply messages at least have your name and phone number—even just your office line.

What are we—cave dwellers? Come on! J J J


Okay, rant over. J
Muah!
-H.

an essay on feminism (with no good answers)

An essay on feminisim…(with no concrete answers)

I am a feminist. I truly believe women have the right to be whatever they want to be whether that be a housewife, CEO, garbage collector, prostitute, doctor, you get the idea—whatever they want to be.

I recall an “anti-feminist” movement back when I was in college; women afraid to declare that they were feminist because they really didn’t understand what being a feminist meant.

And there is the crux of my problem—do I know what feminism means? I have a tendency to get by in this world using my charisma as opposed to my education. I’ve been known to utilize every trick in the book from blatant flirtation to aggressive behavior to being more like a fraternity brother than a girl to get sampling done and or to get people to listen. It’s never thought out; I just sort of passively read people and then behave the way I intuit will get me what I need.

Some people are HARD for me to read. My current boss is impossible for me to read and in some ways for me that is ideal. It forces me to be a better employee and a better scientist. But holy hell is it frustrating to have someone I can’t read to report to. It causes me to be nervous every single time I have to interact with him.

So, speaking of my current working situation—I think the other day I was treated to a little gender discrimination. It shocked the living crap right out of me. It was assumed I couldn’t do something because I am a girl. It was unexpected and made me uncomfortable.

Men and women are very different – physically, emotionally, and chemically. Does that mean one is naturally better as some things than others—probably. Does that mean we have to conform to conventional gender roles—nope.

Do I have any answers?—nope. I just find myself contemplating these things sometimes.

Muah!
-H.

Post Hurricane Plumbing

Seriously, you don’t know how wonderful indoor working plumbing is until you do not have it for a while. Just sayin’.

My First Hurricane

So, yeah. We got brushed by Hurricane Earl. It was nowhere near as bad as I thought it would be; I guess growing up in Michigan/Ohio has prepared me pretty darn well for inclement weather. Basically, all the hurricane felt like was some really high winds and a lot of rain. The preparations before the hurricane though—that nearly killed me. For some unbeknownst reason I thought I could lift a large cooler filled with 5 bags of ice with one arm while carrying a backpack and dragging a garbage can. It turns out I can—but I shouldn’t. Or so the pulled muscle in my lower left back keeps telling me, loudly, with much angst. Many trips to the dump, bleaching out my garbage can, moved the grills indoors, chained down some outdoor tools. Lots of chores to do on a Sunday. J

During the hurricane I napped. I did. Me, the dogs, and occasionally a sopping wet cat were snuggled on the bed and we napped. What else was there to do? It was rather peaceful. I read a book, napped a little, read some more, napped some more. Got fancy and made a tuna melt, read some more, napped some more.

There were no tree limbs in my way into work the next morning. Here we are on Wednesday and I still have no power but I prepared for that. It should hopefully be up by today (fingers crossed).

The one thing I noticed about the Hurricane is that it was long. Picture a really bad thunderstorm that goes on for about a day letting up only intermittently. I had a hard time figuring out if it was “over” or not.

Well, made it through my first one. It was less exciting that I had prepared for however more preparation is not a bad thing. Also, the aftermath (since we were just brushed) has not been nearly so bad.

Hugs,
-H.