...I am doing it for you.
Yes, things were tame, normal. We had a routine. Which although reassuring, does not provide humorous writing. So, when a co-worker asked if I wanted to watch their dog Dooley I said sure. *snicker*
Dooley makes my dog Life look like a petite flower.
He is, to the best of my guessing, a Great Dane Lab mix.
The cat hates me, the dogs are underwhelmed.
Let the crazy begin...
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Remember when...
Hey folks,
So, I'm lying here sort of hoping for sleep. It ain't a' hattenin.
Remember when you were a kid and slept *so* hard that you woke up with your face stuck to your pillow which had somehow heated up to about 300 degrees? Yeah, those were good times.
Those of you on facebook know that my dog (Life) has been sick with a big hotspot and a cone-of-shame also known as an elizabethan collar to keep her from licking it. Her right side is completely shaved and in all honesty, she looks horrible. :( I took her collar off her tonight and she has been so stressed she is now lying incredibly close to me with her head on a pillow. Its not helping ME sleep, but I'm worried about her. *shrugs*, sometimes I'm a softie. :)
Works been going okay, friends have been going okay, family has been going okay, it's been fairly tame.
I put up some holiday decorations. Okay, all I did was wrap some lights around my banister along with some purple kmart special garland. But at night it looks totally festive. Sadly, during the day it looks a little trashy. *shrugs* One thing I know about myself; I'm kind of lazy in regards to decorating.
Oh, regarding the collar of shame (speaking of trashy) I got it for her on friday, but when I put it on it looked SO big. So, on Friday evening after cocktail hour it seemed a "good" idea to "trim" it. And I did. And it wasn't. Right after I trimmed it the dog immediately began licking the hot spot. Needless to say the next day, with the help of a friend who kept having to stop and bend over laughing at me, I duct taped that stupid collar of shame back together. Not only did my poor dog look stupid, she looked Trashy Stupid.
The best way to take all the majestic glory out of a large breed dog is to shave one flank unevenly and put a large cone around her head covered in duct tape. New low people, new low.
Life (the dog), never one to be held down by the stupidity of her owner has turned said cone into a battering weapon of mass destruction. Furniture has been knocked over and eventually moved, people and animals beaten, herded, and cut open. She now has a battering ram/slicing plastic cone of shame. Cone of Shame? No, says the dog; Cone of Dooooom!!!!
Gnite ya'll.
I wish you all to have the sleep of a happy child.
-H.
So, I'm lying here sort of hoping for sleep. It ain't a' hattenin.
Remember when you were a kid and slept *so* hard that you woke up with your face stuck to your pillow which had somehow heated up to about 300 degrees? Yeah, those were good times.
Those of you on facebook know that my dog (Life) has been sick with a big hotspot and a cone-of-shame also known as an elizabethan collar to keep her from licking it. Her right side is completely shaved and in all honesty, she looks horrible. :( I took her collar off her tonight and she has been so stressed she is now lying incredibly close to me with her head on a pillow. Its not helping ME sleep, but I'm worried about her. *shrugs*, sometimes I'm a softie. :)
Works been going okay, friends have been going okay, family has been going okay, it's been fairly tame.
I put up some holiday decorations. Okay, all I did was wrap some lights around my banister along with some purple kmart special garland. But at night it looks totally festive. Sadly, during the day it looks a little trashy. *shrugs* One thing I know about myself; I'm kind of lazy in regards to decorating.
Oh, regarding the collar of shame (speaking of trashy) I got it for her on friday, but when I put it on it looked SO big. So, on Friday evening after cocktail hour it seemed a "good" idea to "trim" it. And I did. And it wasn't. Right after I trimmed it the dog immediately began licking the hot spot. Needless to say the next day, with the help of a friend who kept having to stop and bend over laughing at me, I duct taped that stupid collar of shame back together. Not only did my poor dog look stupid, she looked Trashy Stupid.
The best way to take all the majestic glory out of a large breed dog is to shave one flank unevenly and put a large cone around her head covered in duct tape. New low people, new low.
Life (the dog), never one to be held down by the stupidity of her owner has turned said cone into a battering weapon of mass destruction. Furniture has been knocked over and eventually moved, people and animals beaten, herded, and cut open. She now has a battering ram/slicing plastic cone of shame. Cone of Shame? No, says the dog; Cone of Dooooom!!!!
Gnite ya'll.
I wish you all to have the sleep of a happy child.
-H.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Well...
Okay, so paradise ain't always perfect. Power has been out since about 3.2 minutes since I sat down after work following the grocery store. That said, it has been (mostly) peaceful.
Goodnight!
Goodnight!
Monday, November 30, 2009
Some days...
Some days I feel like I am damn good at my job. This is not one of those days.
I have been riding that roller coaster of I am great, I suck, I am great again, oh crap...
It does (and doesn't) help that I have the most subtle boss in the world. A slight waver in his voice could spell doom...or it could be he just shotgunned some soda. So, If he suggests something I for SURE do it. Today I am very tired due to travelling for HOURS yesterday and I was going to leave work early and make up the time later in the week. He said to me, "you know, people look at your gate times...",I stayed and worked. We also got the news that my boss' boss is quitting. It's one of those moments where 1. I am sad to see him go cause I liked him and 2. oh crap--does he know something I don't.
Nothing too catastrophic today. I will attempt to update more.
Today I got to work early enough to beat angry jazz hands lady (crossing guard) and that always leads to a good day.
I have been riding that roller coaster of I am great, I suck, I am great again, oh crap...
It does (and doesn't) help that I have the most subtle boss in the world. A slight waver in his voice could spell doom...or it could be he just shotgunned some soda. So, If he suggests something I for SURE do it. Today I am very tired due to travelling for HOURS yesterday and I was going to leave work early and make up the time later in the week. He said to me, "you know, people look at your gate times...",I stayed and worked. We also got the news that my boss' boss is quitting. It's one of those moments where 1. I am sad to see him go cause I liked him and 2. oh crap--does he know something I don't.
Nothing too catastrophic today. I will attempt to update more.
Today I got to work early enough to beat angry jazz hands lady (crossing guard) and that always leads to a good day.
Hello....
So, Happy Thanksgiving to ya'll. I'm back on the island. I've learned a few things in the past week of "vacation".
1. get home before the day before you have to go back to work. Getting home late and then having to go to work the next morning is unpleasant (aka sucks).
2. don't travel somewhere colder on vacation; make people come to you.
3. don't take a taxi home from the stx airport. It was really expensive and took forever.
4. don't be suprised when you arrive at the stx airport if someone forgot to unlock the airport doors so two plane loads of people stand there looking at the terminal but are unable to get to the terminal. And then (this part really made me giggle) when you do unlock a door only unlock one of the 4 available doors so the people bottleneck trying to get through.
5. I'm tired, and when I am tired I get grumpy.
6. My landlord is still unpleasant. My electric bill (which was in my door when I returned home along with my rent invoice) was ri-freakin-diculous. That on top of the over-priced cab fare filled me with an impotent rage.
7. Regardless of how grumpy I am my dogs (and cat) still missed me a lot and all piled on top of me (to hold me in place?) when I got home last night.
8. It was nice to see as many people as I did; unfortunately there is never enough time to see everyone.
9. Besides people some of the things I missed the most were giant target stores (where I danced down the aisles smiling at people); giant bookstores where I raided the clearance racks repeatedly; and a lot of the food.
10. Some of the things I didn't like about the mainland was that strangers don't look you in the face, everyone goes out of their way to *not* look at you. A friendly greeting causes mistrust, and speed and anonymity is prized over politeness.
1. get home before the day before you have to go back to work. Getting home late and then having to go to work the next morning is unpleasant (aka sucks).
2. don't travel somewhere colder on vacation; make people come to you.
3. don't take a taxi home from the stx airport. It was really expensive and took forever.
4. don't be suprised when you arrive at the stx airport if someone forgot to unlock the airport doors so two plane loads of people stand there looking at the terminal but are unable to get to the terminal. And then (this part really made me giggle) when you do unlock a door only unlock one of the 4 available doors so the people bottleneck trying to get through.
5. I'm tired, and when I am tired I get grumpy.
6. My landlord is still unpleasant. My electric bill (which was in my door when I returned home along with my rent invoice) was ri-freakin-diculous. That on top of the over-priced cab fare filled me with an impotent rage.
7. Regardless of how grumpy I am my dogs (and cat) still missed me a lot and all piled on top of me (to hold me in place?) when I got home last night.
8. It was nice to see as many people as I did; unfortunately there is never enough time to see everyone.
9. Besides people some of the things I missed the most were giant target stores (where I danced down the aisles smiling at people); giant bookstores where I raided the clearance racks repeatedly; and a lot of the food.
10. Some of the things I didn't like about the mainland was that strangers don't look you in the face, everyone goes out of their way to *not* look at you. A friendly greeting causes mistrust, and speed and anonymity is prized over politeness.
Monday, November 16, 2009
My Thanksgiving Plans o' Wonder...
Thanks to the generosity of an un-named family member I'm flyin' home for Thanksgiving. Well, flying, flying, driving, driving, flying, and then flying. But who cares! I'm going to see people! People that I love! And my family! (Kidding! Ha! I totally love my family--I just cannot resist a cheap joke) So, here is the itinerary for my midwest tour '09. After work on Friday I sucker some poor bastard into driving me to the airport, or I park at the airport, or something along those lines. Then I awkward my way through customs...I always mess up the form or something. Then I settle in for my first nap...I mean flight to Miami. Arrive at Miami, eat something....then either run for my gate or wait a *really* long time. Depending on how close the gate is. If I'm feeling especially cruel I will order something to go, something with extra onions and garlic so I can stink up the cabin of my next flight....nah, wait--thats every other person I end up flying with...*sigh*. Then I arrive in Chicag where I will either wait for Wilkes to pick me up (we *never* time it right) or I wait for a cab to drive me home. Haven't decided yet.
Then home. Then some packing and meeting with friends. then some doctors appointments on monday--then swingin' by the old office to drop off my work computer which was *DENIED BY CUSTOMS (W.T.H.)* when I tried to ship it back and say hello to people at the company of which I quit. I will cry.
Then, if I can, I will convince them to take me drinking somewhere with wings. You know where...:) Failing that, I will go by myself. The "someone just quit lets go eat at RAM thing"...it needs to happen with me too, dammit.
Then tuesday--well, I'm sleeping in...and then packing some more stuff at the house. Then wednesday-the great migration to OH/MI. Where I get to see my family, I'm sure my mom will cry (I get my emotional state from her you know. :) ) and there will be much rejoicing as I get to see everyone. :) Then thursday there will be the eating....then friday, friday will be the shopping (and I will remember why I moved to a tropical island). Saturday we check out of the hotel and commute our way back to the windy city...Sunday I fly back to St. Croix. Monday back at work.
And, since it is 72 degrees here today and not sunny (rainy) I am freezing! like, need to get a long sleeved shirt on cold--so I am pretty sure once I land in Chicago I am going to turn into a popsicle and shatter anyway and all this planning will be moot.
Much love to ya'll.
-H.
Then home. Then some packing and meeting with friends. then some doctors appointments on monday--then swingin' by the old office to drop off my work computer which was *DENIED BY CUSTOMS (W.T.H.)* when I tried to ship it back and say hello to people at the company of which I quit. I will cry.
Then, if I can, I will convince them to take me drinking somewhere with wings. You know where...:) Failing that, I will go by myself. The "someone just quit lets go eat at RAM thing"...it needs to happen with me too, dammit.
Then tuesday--well, I'm sleeping in...and then packing some more stuff at the house. Then wednesday-the great migration to OH/MI. Where I get to see my family, I'm sure my mom will cry (I get my emotional state from her you know. :) ) and there will be much rejoicing as I get to see everyone. :) Then thursday there will be the eating....then friday, friday will be the shopping (and I will remember why I moved to a tropical island). Saturday we check out of the hotel and commute our way back to the windy city...Sunday I fly back to St. Croix. Monday back at work.
And, since it is 72 degrees here today and not sunny (rainy) I am freezing! like, need to get a long sleeved shirt on cold--so I am pretty sure once I land in Chicago I am going to turn into a popsicle and shatter anyway and all this planning will be moot.
Much love to ya'll.
-H.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Ya ever wonder...
Ya ever wonder, maybe its okay to just be a bitch? Maybe I *don't* have to rationalize away my emotions every single time? Maybe the other people *are* just wrong and I can just not like people.
Now, maybe you all think that just feeling what you feel is normal...I usually have an entire mental discussion every time I have an emotion. "Why do I feel this way, what was that person doing, did I cause this....blah blah blah blah blah ad nauseum"
So. Anywhoodle, there is some info on how and why I may be as nuts as I am. ;)
Happy Sunday.
Now, maybe you all think that just feeling what you feel is normal...I usually have an entire mental discussion every time I have an emotion. "Why do I feel this way, what was that person doing, did I cause this....blah blah blah blah blah ad nauseum"
So. Anywhoodle, there is some info on how and why I may be as nuts as I am. ;)
Happy Sunday.
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